God's Manifestation in the LIfe of His Children

God is good, all the time, in all circumstances.

It has been awhile since I have written an update on my battle of cancer. This journey has been longer than anticipated but the prayers of friends and family have sustained. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." has been my encouragement.

I want to tell a story about God's real, physical manifestation in the middle of this battle. It is a long story with flashbacks, but if you stick it out and read the whole thing, you will see a blessing from God. Although this blessing was for me, I believe that if we look for them, He sends blessings in all of the lives of His children.

I must be honest, about two weeks I fell into a pit of despair. It had been a week of intense side effects from the Chemo. In addition to the physical pain, the fatigue had incapacitated me to the point of that I could not function physically or mentally. I knew God was in control but I began to cry out to Him, "What is the purpose of this illness? Can you please just show me some reason for this?"

Carl came home for lunch and brought in the mail. This was literally in the midst of my crying out. There was a letter from the Texas Teacher Retirement system telling me that I had made a mistake on my application. This added to my despair. I needed that money to open the business and now there would be more delay. But the last sentence of the letter was the hidden blessing. "We must have a written statement saying that you are not buying back your years or the money for the years."

OK, first flashback. I was an instructional aide for six years. When I decided to go back to school, I pulled my Teacher Retirement to pay for my teaching degree. When I decided to retire the TRS (Teacher Retirement System) sent me two estimates, one with the six years and one without the six years. The cost to buy back those six years was $14,000. I dismissed the possibility because I did not have $14,000 thousand dollars. So the retirement papers were filled out and sent in without the additional years.

Flashback number two. Years ago I bought a disability policy from work. I had completely forgotten about the policy. The BISD payroll clerk, Suzanne Baker, called me to ask me if I wanted to file for the disability. I had to do the claim before my last day of work since I was retiring. Of course, I wanted to file for the disability. Now you may call this chance, but I call it God. This could have gone unclaimed, but I believe God placed it in Suzanne's mind to call me about this policy. You see, because I had so many sick days,I did not fall into the normal need to make this claim. Suzanne told me that it just suddenly occurred to her to check on my disability insurance. So we quickly sent off the claim and waited to see what the payoff would be. When the check came, I was astounded by the amount of the check. I deposited into the bank and thought I would decide what to do with it later.

Back to the day of my despair. Remember, I got the letter from TRS. Carl put it aside and said we would deal with it later, since obviously I was in no state to think about anything at that moment.

OK, I am getting to the good part so keep reading. I went to bed that night and fell asleep. At 2 AM I was literally awaken with a clear mind and with one thought. Because of the disability check, I have the $14,000 to buy back my years. With more energy than I had had for months, I got out of bed and found my retirement packet. If I bought back the years, the difference in my lump sum payoff was $25,000 and the difference in my monthly annuity would be $500. Wow, God is so good.

Do you get it? In His "pro""vision" God had now provided for my future in a very physical, real way. Not only would the lump sum allow me to buy the building for the my new business and have enough for stock; now I would have an extra $500 a month for the rest of my life! God saw what I could not see and He used the circumstance of this illness to provide for my needs the rest of my life.

You can imagine Carl's surprise when he woke up to a wife with renewed energy and excited about life. I could hardly wait for the bank to open so I could go get the check to send it to TRS.

Now, I don't want you to miss the blessing here. The disability money came after the first retirement application was sent to TRS. If I had not made the mistake, I would not have been able to buy the years back. Now you may think I am stretching here, but I truly believe that God's timing is supreme and it was God's timing throughout this process.



So, I want to leave you with the Message version of Jeremiah 29:11. I find the Message is written in more direct language that hard headed people like me need to hear sometimes. "I know what I am doing, I have it all planned out---plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

Praise God for whom all blessings flow!